I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Buhtt sex?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
