I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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