Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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