i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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