If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
