We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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