remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
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after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
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She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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