kristin has been a bad kristin
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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