"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
