In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
