Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize