Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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