i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
