just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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