i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
