Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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