So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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