Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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