You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
