You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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