the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Randomize
