I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
