I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
