so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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