Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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