Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
