I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
