I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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