That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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