i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
