worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
