Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
