we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
