Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
