I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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