I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
