I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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