Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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