Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
