i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
