i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize