It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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