There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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