We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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