i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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