I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
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still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
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Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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