did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he fucked my hip out of place.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
