oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
