"it" just moved
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
