So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
