she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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