3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
