Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
