I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Let's paint friendship bongs
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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