Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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