Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
