For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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