awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
